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16 Movies in 16 Quotes

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10 Most Historically Inaccurate Movies

 10,000 B.C. Director Roland Emmerich is usually a stickler for realism (see: sending a computer virus via Macintosh to aliens in Independence Day). So we hate to inform him that woolly mammoths were not, in fact, used to build pyramids. Heck, woolly mammoths weren't even found in the desert. They wouldn't need to be woolly if that were the case. And there weren't any pyramids in Egypt until 2,500 B.C or so.

 Gladiator. Emperor Commodus was not the sniveling sister-obsessed creep portrayed in the movie. A violent alcoholic, sure, but not so whiny. He ruled ably for over a decade rather than ineptly for a couple months. He also didn't kill his father, Marcus Aurelius, who actually died of chickenpox. And instead of being killed in the gladiatorial arena, he was murdered in his bathtub.

 300.Though this paean to ancient moral codes and modern physical training is based on the real Battle of Thermopylae, the film takes many stylistic liberties. The most obvious one being Persian king Xerxes was not an 8-foot-tall Cirque du Soleil reject. The Spartan council was made up of men over the age of 60, with no one as young as Theron (played by 37-year-old Dominic West). And the warriors of Sparta went into battle wearing bronze armor, not just leather Speedos.

 The Last Samurai. The Japanese in the late 19th century did hire foreign advisers to modernize their army, but they were mostly French, not American. Ken Watanabe's character was based on the real Saigo Takamori who committed ritual suicide, or "seppuku," in defeat rather than in a volley of Gatling gun fire. Also, it's doubtful that a 40-something alcoholic Civil War vet, even one with great hair, would master the chopsticks much less the samurai sword.

 Apocalypto. This one movie has given entire Anthropology departments migraines. Sure the Maya did have the odd human sacrifice but not to Kulkulkan, the Sun God, and only high-ranking captives taken in battle were killed. The conquistadors arriving at the end of the film made for unlikely saviors: an estimated 90% of indigenous American population was killed by smallpox from their infected livestock.

 Memoirs of a Geisha. The geisha coming-of-age, called "mizuage," was really more of a makeover, where she changed her hairstyle and clothes. It didn't involve her getting... intimate with a client. In the climactic scene where Sayuri wows Gion patrons with her dancing prowess, her routine - which involves some platform shoes, fake snow, and a strobe light - seems more like a Studio 54 drag show than anything in pre-war Kyoto.

 Braveheart. Let's forget the fact that kilts weren't worn in Scotland until about 300 years after William Wallace's day and just do some simple math. According to the movie, Wallace's blue-eyed charm at the Battle of Falkirk was so overpowering, he seduced King Edward II's wife, Isabella of France, and the result of their affair was Edward III. But according to the history books, Isabella was three years old at the time of Falkirk, and Edward III was born seven years after Wallace died.

 Elizabeth: The Golden Age. In 1585, when the movie takes place, Queen Elizabeth was 52 years old - Cate Blanchett was 36 when she shot the film - and was not being courted by suitors like Ivan the Terrible (who was dead by then). And though the movie has her rallying the troops at Tilbury astride a white steed in full armor with a sword, in fact she rode side saddle, carrying a baton. She was more of a regal majorette than Joan of Arc.

 The Patriot. Revolutionary War figure Francis "The Swamp Fox" Marion was the basis for Mel Gibson's character, but he wasn't the forward-thinking family man they show in the flick. He was a slave owner who didn't get married (to his cousin) until after the war was over. Historians also say that he actively persecuted and murdered native Cherokees. Plus, the thrilling Battle of Guilford Court House where he vanquishes his British nemesis? In reality, the Americans lost that one.

 2001: A Space Odyssey. According to this film, in year 2001 we would have had manned voyages to Jupiter, a battle of wits with a sentient computer, and a quantum leap in human evolution. Instead we got the Mir Space Station falling from the sky, Windows XP, and Freddy Got Fingered. Apparently the lesson here is that sometimes it's better when the movies get the facts all wrong.

100 best non-English language films

Edward Copeland has listed 100 best non-English language films ever made! Here are the top 10:

1 - The Rules of the Game (1939) - Jean Renoir, French
2 - The Seven Samurai (1954) - Akira Kurosawa, Japanese
3 - M (1931) - Fritz Lang, German
4 - 8 1/2 (1963) - Federico Fellini, Italian
5 - Bicycle Thieves (aka The Bicycle Thief) (1948) - Vittorio de Sica, Italian
6 - Persona (1966) - Ingmar Bergman, Swedish
7 - Grand Illusion (1937) - Jean Renoir, French
8 - Aguirre, the Wrath of God (1972) - Werner Herzog, German
9 - The Battle of Algiers (1966) - Gillo Pontecorvo, French & Arabic
10 - The 400 Blows (1959) - Francois Truffaut, French

The Pledge is not a straightforward thriller

 Directed by Sean Penn with Jack Nicholson. Press reviews:

The Guardian: It is a movie that might disconcert those who are led to expect a straight-up-and-down thriller, and indeed some American consumers seem to have complained that what they read on the label wasn't what they got in the can. But what they got - and what we've got - is a distinctive, demanding, deeply intelligent picture from a first-class director and with a glorious star performance from Nicholson.

The Daily Telegraph: Sean Penn has finally made the film he has been burning to make, with its perfect danger, its amazing central performance, its beautiful composition and control.

The Observer: Penn is becoming a good and thoughtful director. His previous films, The Indian Runner and The Crossing Guard, boasted good performances but lacked cohesion. The Pledge achieves the stamp of a certain style and is clearly the work of a man probing life's beauty and misery in a determinedly artistic bid to fathom its absurdity. You could now say of Penn what they used to say of Albert Camus: he's on the side of the angels but he gives the devil a damn good run for his money.

House of Flying Daggers

Press reviews:

Roger Ebert: Forget about the plot, characters, and intrigue, which are all splendid, and focus just on the visuals. There are interiors of ornate elaborate richness, costumes of such beauty, landscapes of mountain ranges and meadows, banks of autumn leaves and a bamboo grove that functions like a kinetic art installation. The film is so good to look at and listen to that, as with some operas, the story is almost beside the point, serving primarily to get us from one spectacular scene to another.

The Guardian: Zhang Yimou has only just finished seducing us with his gorgeous extravaganza, Hero. Now, almost without missing a beat in his career, he has conjured another extraordinary, swoonworthy spectacle. This martial-arts romance delivers what I can only call a narco-exotic rush; it has the power of Hero and the reach of Ang Lee's Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon - and might simply surpass them both with its unexpectedly painful and complex love story.

NY Times: The film's 2 most accomplished action scenes are likely to be cherished like favorite numbers from 'An American in Paris.' Try making that claim about anything in "Matrix" or "Blade Trinity."