JMR's blog

Top 10 Will Ferrell Characters

No.1 Frank "The Tank" Ricard

Old School - 2003

Many argue Ron Burgundy should be at the top of any Ferrell list. Their love of the character is obviously not unfounded. However, Frank "The Tank" is better for two reasons: 1) Old Schoolestablished Ferrell as a legitimate box-office hit and put him on comedy's A-list; 2) The character shows more of the actor's range. Ferrell gives the cartoonish party monster a human side. You really believe the guy is hurting inside as he downs beer bongs. We all know a guy just like that -- albeit not as funny.

Choice cut: "Honey, you think KFC is still open?"

No.2 Ron Burgundy

Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy - 2004

Ron Burgundy -- a pompous, chauvinistic, Scotch-swilling '70s anchorman in San Diego -- is one of the most unique characters ever to be committed to celluloid. And that includes all genres going back to the days of Charlie Chaplin. He's big, loud and has more memorable lines in five minutes than most have in entire films. Ferrell really went out on a ledge taking anything this far, but his risk has paid off, a hundred-fold.

Choice cut: "I'll have three fingers of Glenlivet, with a little bit of pepper... and some cheese."

 

No.3 George W. Bush

Saturday Night Live - 1999

Ferrell wasn't the star he later become when taking over the George W. Bush impression on SNL. In fact, at first, it seemed an odd choice since he was only known for loud characters. However, Ferrell nailed W.'s boyish "ah-shucks" attitude and mispronunciations -- doing it in a way that didn't anger either political side. That may have changed when he took the character to Broadway and did a scathing one-man show of Bush's politics. Still, it's hard to argue the hilarity of the impression alone.

Choice cut: "We'll smoke 'em out."

 No.4 Gene Frenkle

Saturday Night Live - 2000

Whoever thought the word "cowbell" could become an international punchline? You can travel to Mongolia and get a laugh with it. Christopher Walken could have stolen this scene as the producer behind Blue Oyster Cult's hit, "Don't Fear the Reaper," as he does with most things. However, Ferrell took his role of Gene Frenkle, cowbell player, and knocked it out of the park. Even watching this sketch on mute is still funny with Ferrell's body movements alone.

Choice cut: "If Bruce Dickinson wants more cowbell, we should probably give him more cowbell!"

 

No.5 Chazz Reinhold

Wedding Crashers - 2005

Fans already knew Ferrell plays a man-child better than anyone else, but Chazz Reinhold takes things to another level. On one side, he's a complete loser who lives at home with his mother. Yet, he also seems to have cracked the secret of happiness. He picks up the most beautiful women by simply going to weddings and funerals. Prior to meeting Chazz, the character is only spoken of in whispers, building the audiences expectation levels extremely high. Ferrell rises to the challenges and disappoints no one.

Choice cut: "Maaaaa! Meatloaf!!!"

 

No.6 Mugatu

Zoolander - 2001

If this movie never existed, it honestly wouldn't surprise us if the actual Mugatu suddenly appeared as a judge on America's Next Top Model. At the same time, it wouldn't surprise us if he appeared as a villain in the next Star Trek film. He just finds a way to make it seem funny rather than nauseating.

Choice cut: "I feel like I'm taking crazy pills."

 

No.7 Ricky Bobby

Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby - 2006

The rumour is Ferrell and producer Adam McKay sold this movie with the simple concept, "Ferrell & NASCAR." The outrageous fans and characters surrounding the sport created a fertile ground for this comedy team to run rampant around. They even thought of a catchphrase that still hasn't become stale after four years, "Shake & Bake!"

Choice cut: "Help me Jesus! Help me Jewish god! Help me Tom Cruise!"

No.8 Neil Diamond

Saturday Night Live - 1998

The singer/songwriter Neil Diamond is known for being a bit conservative. Ferrell remakes him as a wine-swilling xenophobe who sings about murder and drug use. He has the unique ability of making his insane characters completely unaware to the fact they're insane.

Choice cut: "I wrote this one after I killed a drifter to get an erection."

 

No.9 Harry Caray

Saturday Night Live - 1996

This impression includes everything that Will Ferrell does best: over-the-top, absurd and physical. He takes the odd mannerisms of the beloved, but crazy, Chicago Cubs announcer to new levels -- making old punchlines seem completely fresh. Viewers knew Ferrell had struck gold with Caray the minute he appeared, head bobbling, on Weekend Update and asked Colin Quinn, "Hey, if you were a hot dog and you were starving, would you eat yourself?"

Choice cut: "What's your favourite planet? Mine's the sun."

No.10 Step Brothers

Whether they’re playing a pair of dimwitted NASCAR drivers or half-witted stepbrothers, this perfectly matched pair always leaves us in stitches with their outrageous slapstick humour. Like many successful tandems, their chemistry is borne out of mutual admiration.

“I have real genuine affection for Will,” Reilly says. “We’re really good friends, besides any kind of like professional relationship. Just as guys, we really like each other and we share a sense of humour.... He’s a really down-to-Earth guy, very real. As successful as he’s gotten, none of that has gone to his head.”

 http://uk.askmen.com/top_10/celebrity/top-10-will-ferrell-characters.html

20 Funny Newspaper Headlines

Click the pic to read the article online

"This is an artist's conception of the Mount Pleasant High School football field Friday after an electrical transformer blew, knocking out the stadium lights."


"We had no idea anyone was buried there"

"I wouldn't do it again" says the hero, "she's been a pain this week"

Please, if you've seen this man...

What are the odds of that?

Here's the winner of a local dog look-alike contest... He does look exactly like his dog!

That's just mean

This is it

Australian Slang

Here is some Australian Slang:
 

Ace! : Excellent! Very good! 
Aerial pingpong : Australian Rules football 
Amber fluid : beer 
Ambo : ambulance, ambulance driver
Ankle biter : small child 
Apples, she'll be : It'll be all right 
Arvo : afternoon 
Aussie (pron. Ozzie) : Australian
Aussie salute : brushing away flies with the hand 
Avos : avocados 
B & S : Bachelors' and Spinsters' Ball - a very enjoyable party usually held in rural areas 
Back of Bourke : a very long way away 
Bail (somebody) up : to corner somebody physically 
Bail out : depart, usually angrily 
Banana bender : a person from Queensland 
Barbie : barbecue (noun) 
Barrack : to cheer on (football team etc.) 
Bastard : term of endearment 
Bathers : swimming costume
Battler : someone working hard and only just making a living 
Beaut, beauty : great, fantastic 
Big-note oneself : brag, boast 
Bikkie : biscuit (also "it cost big bikkies" - it was expensive)
Billabong : an ox-bow river or watering hole 
Billy : teapot. Container for boiling water.
Bingle : motor vehicle accident
Bities : biting insects 
Bitzer : mongrel dog (bits of this and bits of that) 
Bizzo : business ("mind your own bizzo") 
Black Stump, beyond the : a long way away, the back of nowhere 
Bloke : man, guy 
Bloody : very (bloody hard yakka) 
Bloody oath! : that's certainly true 
Blow in the bag : have a breathalyser test 
Blowie : blow fly 
Bludger : lazy person, layabout, somebody who always relies on other people to do things or lend him things
Blue : fight ("he was having a blue with his wife") 
Blue, make a : make a mistake 
Bluey : pack, equipment, traffic ticket, redhead 
Bluey : excellent working blue cattle dog (named after its subtle markings). Everyone's favourite all-Aussie dog. 
Bluey : heavy wool or felt jacket worn by mining and construction workers.
Bluey : bluebottle jellyfish
Bodgy : of inferior quality 
Bog in : commence eating, to attack food with enthusiasm 
Bog standard : basic, unadorned, without accessories (a bog standard car, telephone etc.)
Bogan : person who takes little pride in his appearance, spends his days slacking and drinking beer
JMR: like Peter Murray!
Bogged : Stuck in mud, deep sand (a vehicle). 
Bondi cigar : see "brown-eyed mullet" 
Bonzer : great, ripper 
Boogie board : a hybrid, half-sized surf board 
Boomer : a large male kangaroo 
Booze bus : police vehicle used for catching drunk drivers 
Boozer : a pub 
Bored shitless : very bored 
Bottle shop : liquor shop 
Bottle-o : liquor shop (originally a man with hessian bags going around picking up beer bottles in the 50's and 60's)
Bottler : something excellent 
Bottling, his blood's worth : he's an excellent, helpful bloke. 
Bounce : a bully 
Bourke Street, he doesn't know Christmas from : he's a bit slow in the head. (Bourke St is a brightly lit Melbourne street) 
Bowl of rice, not my : not my cup of tea; I don't like it
Brass razoo, he hasn't got a : he's very poor 
Brekkie : breakfast 
Brick shit house, built like a : big strong bloke 
Brickie : bricklayer 
Brisvegas : Brisbane, state capital of Queensland 
Brizzie : Brisbane, state capital of Queensland 
Brumby : a wild horse 
Buck's night : stag party, male gathering the night before the wedding 
Buckley's, Buckley's chance : no chance ("New Zealand stands Buckley's of beating Australia at football") 
Budgie smugglers : men's bathing costume
Bull bar : stout bar fixed to the front of a vehicle to protect it against hitting kangaroos (also roo bar) 
Bundy : short for Bundaberg, Queensland, and the brand of rum that's made there 
Bunyip : mythical outback creature 
Bush : the hinterland, the Outback, anywhere that isn't in town 
Bush bash : long competitive running or motorcar race through the bush
Bush telly : campfire 
Bushie : someone who lives in the Bush.
Bushranger : highwayman, outlaw 
Butcher : small glass of beer in South Australia - From the theory that a butcher could take a quick break from his job, have a drink and be back at work
BYO : unlicensed restaurant where you have to Bring Your Own grog, also similar party or barbecue
Cab Sav : Cabernet Sauvignon (a variety of wine grape)
Cactus : dead, not functioning ("this bloody washing machine is cactus") 
Cane toad : a person from Queensland
Captain Cook : look (noun) ("let's have a Captain Cook") 
Cark it : to die, cease functioning 
Cat burying shit, as busy as a : busy 
Cat's piss, as mean as : mean, stingy, uncharitable 
Chewie : chewing gum 
Chokkie : chocolate 
Chook : a chicken 
Chrissie : Christmas 
Chuck a sickie : take the day off sick from work when you're perfectly healthy .
Clayton's : fake, substitute 
Cleanskin : Bottle of wine without a label. Usually bought in bulk by companies who then add their own personalised label and use the wine as e.g. gifts to clients
Cleanskin : cattle that have not been branded, earmarked or castrated.
Click : kilometre - "it's 10 clicks away" 
Clucky : feeling broody or maternal 
Coathanger : Sydney Harbour bridge
Cobber : friend 
Cockie : farmer (Farmers were called cockies in the early days of European settlement because, like the birds of the same name, they made their homes on the edges of permanent waterholes)
Cockie : cockatoo or cockroach
Cockroach : a person from New South Wales 
Coldie : a beer 
Come a gutser : make a bad mistake, have an accident 
Compo : Workers' Compensation pay 
Conch (adj. conchy) : a conscientious person who would rather work or study than go out and enjoy him/herself.
Cooee, not within : figuratively a long way away, far off - England weren't within cooee of beating Australia at cricket 
Cooee, within : nearby - I was within cooee of landing a big fish when the line broke. He lives within cooee of Sydney.
Cook (noun) : One's wife 
Corker : something excellent. A good stroke in cricket might be described as a 'corker of a shot'
Corroboree : an aboriginal dance festival 
Counter lunch/Countery : pub lunch 
Cozzie : swimming costume 
Crack onto (someone) : to hit on someone, pursue someone romantically
Cranky : in a bad mood, angry 
Cream (verb) : defeat by a large margin 
Crook : sick, or badly made 
Crow eater : a person from South Australia 
Cubby house : Small, usually timber, house in the garden used as a children's plaything.
Cut lunch : sandwiches 
Cut lunch commando : army reservist
Cut snake, mad as a : very angry 
Dag : a funny person, nerd, goof 
Daks : trousers 
Damper : bread made from flour and water 
Date : arse[hole] ("get off your fat date") 
Dead dingo's donger, as dry as a : dry 
Dead horse : Tomato sauce
Deadset : true, the truth 
Dero : tramp, hobo, homeless person (from "derelict") 
Dickhead : see "whacker"
Digger : a soldier 
Dill : an idiot 
Dingo's breakfast : a yawn, a leak and a good look round (i.e. no breakfast) 
Dinkum, fair dinkum : true, real, genuine ("I'm a dinkum Aussie"; "is he fair dinkum?") 
Dinky-di : the real thing, genuine 
Dipstick : a loser, idiot 
Divvy van : Police vehicle used for transporting criminals. Named after the protective 'division' between the driver and the villains.
Dob (somebody) in : inform on somebody. Hence dobber, a tell-tale 
Docket : a bill, receipt 
Doco : documentary 
Dog : unattractive woman 
Dog's balls, stands out like : obvious 
Dog's eye : meat pie
Dole bludger : somebody on social assistance when unjustified 
Down Under : Australia and New Zealand 
Drink with the flies : to drink alone 
Drongo : a dope, stupid person 
Dropkick : see 'dipstick'
Drum : information, tip-off ("I'll give you the drum") 
Duchess : sideboard 
Duffer, cattle : rustler 
Dummy, spit the : get very upset at something 
Dunny : outside lavatory 
Dunny budgie : blowfly 
Dunny rat, cunning as a : very cunning 
Durry : tobacco, cigarette
Dux : top of the class (n.); to be top of the class (v.) - "She duxed four of her subjects".

Earbashing : nagging, non-stop chatter 
Ekka : the Brisbane Exhibition, an annual show
Esky : large insulated food/drink container for picnics, barbecues etc. 
Exy : expensive 
Face, off one's : drunk ("He was off his face by 9pm") 
Fair dinkum : true, genuine 
Fair go : a chance ("give a bloke a fair go") 
Fair suck of the sav! : exclamation of wonder, awe, disbelief (see also "sav") 
Fairy floss : candy floss, cotton candy 
Feral : V8 ute (q.v.) sporting large heavy bullbar, numerous aerials, large truck mudflaps and stickers almost all over the rear window and tailgate. Sometimes seen with a Mack emblem on the bonnet and always with large (multiple) driving lights
Feral (n.) : a hippie
Figjam : "F*ck I'm good; just ask me". Nickname for people who have a high opinion of themselves.
Fisho : fishmonger 
Flake : shark's flesh (sold in fish & chips shops) 
Flat out like a lizard drinking : flat out, busy
Flick : to give something or somebody the flick is to get rid of it or him/her 
Flick it on : to sell something, usually for a quick profit, soon after buying it. 
Fly wire : gauze flyscreen covering a window or doorway. 
Footy : Australian Rules football 
Fossick : search, rummage ("fossicking through the kitchen drawers") 
Fossick : to prospect, e.g. for gold
Fossicker : prospector, e.g. for gold
Fremantle Doctor : the cooling afternoon breeze that arrives in Perth from the direction of Freeo
Freo : Fremantle in Western Australia
Frog in a sock, as cross as a : sounding angry - a person or your hard drive! 
Fruit loop : fool 
Full : drunk 
Furphy : false or unreliable rumour
G'Day : hello! 
Gabba : Wooloongabba - the Brisbane cricket ground
GAFA (pron. gaffa) : the big nothingness of the Australian Outback. Great Australian F**k All.
Galah : fool, silly person. Named after the bird of the same name because of its antics and the noise it makes. 
Garbo, garbologist : municipal garbage collector 
Give it a burl : try it, have a go 
Gobful, give a : to abuse, usually justifiably ("The neighbours were having a noisy party so I went and gave them a gobful") 
Gobsmacked : surprised, astounded
Going off : used of a night spot or party that is a lot of fun - "the place was really going off" 
Good oil : useful information, a good idea, the truth 
Good onya : good for you, well done 
Goog, as full as a : drunk. "Goog" is a variation of the northern English slangword "goggie" meaning an egg. 
Greenie : environmentalist 
Grinning like a shot fox : very happy, smugly satisfied 
Grog : liquor, beer ("bring your own grog, you bludger") 
Grouse (adj.) : great, terrific, very good 
Grundies : undies, underwear (from Reg Grundy, a television person) 
Gutful of piss : drunk, "he's got a gutful of piss"
Handle : beer glass with a handle 
Harold Holt, to do the : To bolt. (Also "to do the Harold")
Heaps : a lot, e.g. "thanks heaps", "(s)he earned heaps of money" etc. 
Holy dooley! : an exclamation of surprise = "Good heavens!", "My goodness!" "Good grief!" or similar
Hoon : hooligan 
Hooroo : goodbye 
Hotel : often just a pub 
Hottie : hot water bottle
Icy pole, ice block : popsicle, lollypop 
Jackaroo : a male trainee station manager or station hand (a station is a big farm/grazing property) 
Jillaroo : a female trainee station manager or station hand 
Joey : baby kangaroo 
Journo : journalist 
Jug : electric kettle
Jumbuck : sheep
Kangaroos loose in the top paddock : Intellectually inadequate ("he's got kangaroos loose in the top paddock") 
Kelpie : Australian sheepdog originally bred from Scottish collie 
Kero : kerosene 
Kindie : kindergarten 
Knock : to criticise 
Knock back : refusal (noun), refuse (transitive verb) 
Knocker : somebody who criticises
Lair : a flashily dressed young man of brash and vulgar behaviour, to dress up in flashy clothes, to renovate or dress up something in bad taste 
Lair it up : to behave in a brash and vulgar manner 
Larrikin : a bloke who is always enjoying himself, harmless prankster 
Lend of, to have a : to take advantage of somebody's gullibility, to have someone on ("he's having a lend of you") 
Lippy : lipstick 
Liquid laugh : vomit 
Lizard drinking, flat out like a : flat out, busy 
Lob, lob in : drop in to see someone ("the rellies have lobbed") 
Lollies : sweets, candy 
London to a brick : absolute certainty ("it's London to a brick that taxes won't go down") 
Long paddock : the side of the road where livestock is grazed during droughts
Longneck : 750ml bottle of beer in South Australia
Lucky Country, The : Australia, where else? 
Lunch, who opened their? : OK, who farted? 
Lurk : illegal or underhanded racket 
Maccas (pron. "mackers") : McDonald's (the hamburger place) 
Mallee bull, as fit as a : very fit and strong. The Mallee is very arid beef country in Victoria/South Australia. 
Manchester : Household linen, eg sheets etc.
Mappa Tassie : map of Tasmania - a woman's pubic area 
Mate : buddy, friend 
Mate's rate, mate's discount : cheaper than usual for a "friend" 
Matilda : swagman's bedding, sleeping roll
Metho : methylated spirits 
Mexican : a person from south of the Queensland or New South Wales border 
Mickey Mouse : excellent, very good. Beware though - in some parts of Australia it means inconsequential, frivolous or not very good! 
Middy : 285 ml beer glass in New South Wales 
Milk bar : corner shop that sells takeaway food 
Milko : milkman 
Mob : group of people, not necessarily troublesome 
Mob : family or herd (?) of kangaroos 
Mongrel : despicable person 
Moolah : money
Mozzie : mosquito 
Muddy : mud crab (a great delicacy) 
Mug : friendly insult ("have a go, yer mug"), gullible person 
Mull : grass (the kind you smoke) 
Muster : round up sheep or cattle 
Mystery bag : a sausage
Nasho : National Service (compulsory military service) 
Never Never : the Outback, centre of Australia 
Nipper : young surf lifesaver 
No drama : same as 'no worries'
No worries! : Expression of forgiveness or reassurance (No problem; forget about it; I can do it; Yes, I'll do it) 
No-hoper : somebody who'll never do well 
Not the full quid : not bright intellectually 
Nuddy, in the : naked 
Nun's nasty, as dry as a : dry 
Nut out : hammer out or work out (an agreement, say)
O.S. : overseas ("he's gone O.S.") 
Ocker : an unsophisticated person 
Offsider : an assistant, helper 
Oldies : parents - "I'll have to ask my oldies" 
Op shop : opportunity shop, thrift store, place where second hand goods are sold.
Outback : interior of Australia 
Oz : Australia! 
Paddock : see 'long paddock'
Pash : a long passionate kiss; hence "pashing on" 
Pav : Pavlova - a rich, creamy Australian dessert 
Perve (noun & verb) : looking lustfully at the opposite sex 
Piece of piss : easy task 
Pig's arse! : I don't agree with you 
Piker : Someone who doesn't want to fit in with others socially, leaves parties early 
Pink slip, get the : get the sack (from the colour of the termination form)
Pint : large glass of beer (esp. in South Australia)
Piss : beer. Hence "hit the piss", "sink some piss" 
Plate, bring a : Instruction on party or BBQ invitation to bring your own food. It doesn't mean they're short of crockery! 
Plonk : cheap wine 
Pokies : poker machines, fruit machines, gambling slot machines 
Polly : politician 
Pom, pommy, pommie : an Englishman • See the complaint about "Pom" etc. 
Pommy bastard : an Englishman (see also 'bastard') 
Pommy shower : using deodorant instead of taking a shower 
Pommy's towel, as dry as a : very dry - based on the canard that Poms bathe about once a month 
Porky : Lie, untruth (pork pie = lie)
Port : suitcase (portmanteau) 
Postie : postman, mailman 
Pot : 285 ml beer glass in Queensland and Victoria 
Pozzy : position - get a good pozzy at the football stadium 
Prezzy : present, gift 
Quid, make a : earn a living - "are you making a quid?" 
Quid, not the full : of low IQ. [Historical note: 'quid' is slang for a pound. £1 became $2 when Australia converted to decimal currency] 
Rack off : push off! get lost! get out of here! also "rack off hairy legs!". 
Rage : party 
Rage on : to continue partying - "we raged on until 3am" 
Rapt : pleased, delighted 
Ratbag : mild insult 
Raw prawn, to come the : to bullshit, to be generally disagreeable 
Reckon! : you bet! Absolutely! 
Reffo : refugee 
Rego : vehicle registration 
Rellie or relo : family relative 
Ridgy-didge : original, genuine 
Right, she : it'll be all right
Right, that'd be : Accepting bad news as inevitable. ("I went fishing but caught nothing." "Yeah, that'd be right.")
Rip snorter : great, fantastic - "it was a rip snorter of a party" 
Ripper : great, fantastic - "it was a ripper party" 
Ripper, you little! : Exclamation of delight or as a reaction to good news
Road train : big truck with many trailers 
Rock up : to turn up, to arrive - "we rocked up at their house at 8pm" 
Rollie : a cigarette that you roll yourself 
Roo : kangaroo 
Roo bar : stout bar fixed to the front of a vehicle to protect it against hitting kangaroos (also bull bar)
Root (verb and noun) : synonym for f*ck in nearly all its senses: "I feel rooted"; "this washing machine is rooted"; "(s)he's a good root". A very useful word in fairly polite company. 
Root rat : somebody who is constantly looking for sex.
Ropeable : very angry 
Rort (verb or noun) : Cheating, fiddling, defrauding (expenses, the system etc.). Usually used of politicians 
Rotten : drunk - "I went out last night and got rotten" 
Rubbish (verb) : to criticize 
Salute, Aussie : brushing flies away 
Salvos, the : Salvation Army, bless them 
Sandgroper : a person from Western Australia 
Sanger : a sandwich 
Sav : saveloy (see also "fair suck of the sav!") 
Schooner : large beer glass in Queensland; medium beer glass in South Australia 
Scratchy : instant lottery ticket 
Screamer : party lover; "two pot screamer" - somebody who gets drunk on very little alcohol 
Seppo : an American 
Servo : petrol station 
Shag on a rock, stands out like a : very obvious
Shark biscuit : somebody new to surfing 
She'll be right : it'll turn out okay 
Sheepshagger : A New Zealander
Sheila : a woman 
Shit house (adj.) : of poor quality, unenjoyable ("this car is shit house", "the movie was shit house")
Shit house (noun) : toilet, lavatory
Shonky : dubious, underhanded. E.g. a shonky practice, shonky business etc. 
Shoot through : to leave 
Shout : turn to buy - a round of drinks usually ("it's your shout") 
Show pony : someone who tries hard, by his dress or behaviour, to impress those around him.
Sickie : day off sick from work (chuck a sickie = take the day off sick from work when you're perfectly healthy!) 
Skite : boast, brag 
Skull/Skol (a beer) : to drink a beer in a single draught without taking a breath
Slab : a carton of 24 bottles or cans of beer 
Sleepout : house verandah converted to a bedroom 
Smoko : smoke or coffee break 
Snag : a sausage 
Sook : person or animal who is soft, tame, inoffensive. Hence sooky (adj.) 
Spag bol : spaghetti bolognese 
Spewin' : very angry 
Spiffy, pretty spiffy : great, excellent
Spit the dummy : get very upset at something 
Spruiker : man who stands outside a nightclub or restaurant trying to persuade people to enter
Sprung : caught doing something wrong 
Spunk : a good looking person (of either sex) 
Squizz (noun) : look - "take a squizz at this" 
Standover man : a large man, usually gang-related, who threatens people with physical violence in order to have his wishes carried out.
Station : a big farm/grazing property 
Stickybeak : nosy person 
Stoked : very pleased
Stonkered : beaten, defeated, cornered, perplexed
Strewth : exclamation, mild oath ("Strewth, that Chris is a bonzer bloke") 
Strides : trousers 
Strine : Australian slang and pronunciation 
Stubby : a 375ml. beer bottle 
Stubby holder : polystyrene insulated holder for a stubby 
Stuffed, I feel : I'm tired 
Stuffed, I'll be : expression of surprise 
Sunbake : sunbathe 
Sunnies : sunglasses 
Surfies : people who go surfing - usually more often than they go to work! 
Swag : rolled up bedding etc. carried by a swagman 
Swaggie : swagman 
Swagman : tramp, hobo 
Tall poppies : successful people 
Tall poppy syndrome : the tendency to criticize successful people 
Tallie : 750ml bottle of beer
Taswegian : derogatory term for a person from Tasmania 
Technicolor yawn : vomit 
Tee-up : to set up (an appointment) 
Thingo : Wadjamacallit, thingummy, whatsit 
Thongs : cheap rubber backless sandals 
Throw-down : small bottle of beer which you can throw down quickly.
Tickets, to have on oneself : to have a high opinion of oneself 
Tinny : can of beer 
Tinny : small aluminium boat
Tinny, tin-arsed : lucky
Togs : swim suit 
Too right! : definitely! 
Top End : far north of Australia 
Trackie daks/dacks : tracksuit pants
Trackies : track suit 
Troppo, gone : to have escaped to a state of tropical madness; to have lost the veneer of civilisation after spending too long in the tropics.
Trough lolly : the solid piece of perfumed disinfectant in a men's urinal 
Truckie : truck driver 
True blue : patriotic 
Tucker : food 
Tucker-bag : food bag 
Turps : turpentine, alcoholic drink 
Turps, hit the : go on a drinking binge 
Two up : gambling game played by spinning two coins simultaneously 
Ugg boots : Australian sheepskin boots worn by surfers since at least the 1960s to keep warm while out of the water. Also worn by airmen during WW1 and WW2 because of the need to maintain warmth in non-pressurized planes at high altitudes.
Ugh : ugly. hence Ugg boots
Uni : university 
Unit : flat, apartment 
Up oneself : have a high opinion of oneself - "he's really up himself" 
Up somebody, get : to rebuke somebody - "the boss got up me for being late" 
Useful as an ashtray on a motorbike / tits on a bull : unhelpful or incompetent person or thing - "he, she or it is about as useful as tits on a bull" etc. etc. 
Ute : utility vehicle, pickup truck 
Vedgies : vegetables 
Vee dub : Volkswagen 
Veg out : relax in front of the TV (like a vegetable) 
Vejjo : vegetarian 
Vinnie's : St. Vincent De Paul's (charity thrift stores and hostels)
WACA (pron. whacker) : Western Australian Cricket Association and the Perth cricket ground
Waggin' school : playing truant 
Walkabout : a walk in the Outback by Aborigines that lasts for an indefinite amount of time 
Walkabout, it's gone : it's lost, can't be found 
Weekend warrior : army reservist
Whacker, whacka : Idiot; somebody who talks drivel; somebody with whom you have little patience; a dickhead
Whinge : complain 
White pointers : topless (female) sunbathers 
Whiteant (verb) : to criticise something to deter somebody from buying it. A car dealer might whiteant another dealer's cars or a real estate salesman might whiteant another agent's property 
Wobbly : excitable behaviour ("I complained about the food and the waiter threw a wobbly") 
Wobbly boot on, he's got the : drunk
Wog : flu or trivial illness 
Wog : person of Mediterranean origin. A milder insult than the same word in the UK and perhaps elsewhere. 
Wombat : somebody who eats, roots and leaves (see also root) 
Woop Woop : invented name for any small unimportant town - "he lives in Woop Woop" 
Wowser : straight-laced person, prude, puritan, spoilsport 
Wuss : coward; nervous person or animal
XXXX : pronounced Four X, brand of beer made in Queensland 
Yabber : talk (a lot) 
Yabby : inland freshwater crayfish found in Australia (Cherax destructor)
Yakka : work (noun) 
Yewy : u-turn in traffic ("chuck a yewy at the next traffic lights") 
Yobbo : an uncouth person 
Zack : sixpence (5 cents) - "it isn't worth a zack", "he hasn't got a zack"

Biden-Palin debate: gaffe potential?

The televised vice-presidential debate between Democrat Joe Biden and Republican Sarah Palin is the only time the two meet face-to-face in this campaign. Here the BBC gather some of the comments they have made in the past that invited ridicule or incredulity among commentators and the public.

 

Joe Biden

• Asked by CBS presenter Katie Couric on 22 September about plans to rescue the US financial system, Mr Biden said: "When the stock market crashed, Franklin D Roosevelt got on the television and didn't just talk about the, you know, princes of greed. He said, 'Look, here's what happened'." Observers were quick to point out that the US president at the time of the 1929 stock market crash was Herbert Hoover and that there were no TV sets yet in American homes. FDR did speak to the nation on radio in a "fireside chat" when he took office in 1933.

• In February 2007, Mr Biden commented on Mr Obama - at that point a rival for the Democratic nomination - saying: "I mean, you got the first mainstream African-American who is articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking guy, I mean, that's a storybook, man."

• Responding to a voter who disliked Hillary Clinton in New Hampshire last month, Mr Biden said: "Hillary Clinton is as qualified or more qualified than I am to be vice-president of the United States of America... She's easily qualified to be vice-president of the United States of America and, quite frankly, it might have been a better pick than me, but she is first-rate."
   
• In 2006, Mr Biden faced criticism over a video clip of him saying: "You cannot go to a 7-Eleven or a Dunkin' Donuts unless you have a slight Indian accent. I'm not joking." His office later said he admired the growing Indian-American community in the state of Delaware and was talking about how new families were benefiting the local economy by taking over small businesses.
   
• Arguably his most famous blunder came during Mr Biden's first run for the Democratic presidential nomination in 1987, when he plagiarised without attribution a speech UK Labour leader Neil Kinnock had given a few months earlier. He lost credibility and his campaign imploded.

Sarah Palin

• Asked repeatedly in a TV interview by CBS's Katie Couric to give examples of John McCain supporting financial regulation, Mrs Palin eventually said: "I'll try to find some and bring them to you."
   

• In the same CBS interview, Mrs Palin was asked how Alaska's proximity to Russia boosted her foreign policy credentials. She replied: "We have trade missions back and forth, we do. It's very important when you consider even national security issues with Russia. As Putin rears his head and comes into the air space of the United States of America, where do they go? It's Alaska. It's just right over the border. It is from Alaska that we send those out to make sure that an eye is being kept on this very powerful nation, Russia, because they are right there, they are right next to our state."
   
• When asked why she was not more accessible to reporters, amid complaints from the media that the McCain campaign was keeping her under wraps, Mrs Palin said: "I am so happy to talk to reporters. My life is an open book, happy to do it and very happy for more opportunities to do so."
   
• Before she became the vice-president nominee, when asked in an interview for CNBC in July about that possibility Mrs Palin said: "As for that VP talk all the time, I'll tell you, I still can't answer that question until somebody answers for me what is it exactly that the VP does every day?"
   
• Speaking to graduating students at her former Wasilla Assembly of God Church in June, Mrs Palin suggested a natural gas pipeline project had divine backing. "I can do my part in doing things like working really, really hard to get a natural gas pipeline, about a $30bn project that's going to create a lot of jobs for Alaskans and we'll have a lot of energy flowing through here. And pray about that also. I think God's will has to be done in unifying people and companies to get that gas pipeline built, so pray for that."

Spanish shopkeeper finds Homer Simpson euro

MADRID (Reuters) - A one euro coin has turned up in Spain bearing the face of couch potato Homer Simpson instead of that of the country's king, a sweetshop owner told Reuters on Friday.

 

Jose Martinez was counting the cash in his till in the city of Aviles, northern Spain, when he came across the coin where Homer's bald head, big eyes and big nose had replaced the serious features of King Juan Carlos.

"The coin must have been done by a professional, the work is impressive," he told Reuters.

The comical carver had not taken his tools to the other side of the coin displaying the map of Europe. So far, no other coins of the hapless, beer-swilling oaf have been found in circulation.

"I've been offered 20 euros for it," said Martinez.

Pet dog Xi Xi with his chicken

at their home in Xi'an, northwest China's Shaanxi province. The pet owner bought the chicken to allay the loneliness of Xi Xi. The dog is very protective towards the chicken

Bush & Condi talk...?

George: Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening?

Condi: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China.

George: Great. Lay it on me.

Condi: Hu is the new leader of China.

George: That's what I want to know.

Condi: That's what I'm telling you.

George: That's what I'm asking you. Who is the new leader of China?

Condi: Yes.

George: I mean the fellow's name.

Condi: Hu.

George: The guy in China.

Condi: Hu.

George: The new leader of China.

Condi: Hu.

George: The Chinaman!

Condi: Hu is leading China.

George: Now whaddya' asking me for?

Condi: I'm telling you Hu is leading China.

George: Well, I'm asking you. Who is leading China?

Condi: That's the man's name.

George: That's who's name?

Condi: Yes.

George: Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader of China?

Condi: Yes, sir.

George: Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he was in the Middle East.

Condi: That's correct.

George: Then who is in China?

Condi: Yes, sir.

George: Yassir is in China?

Condi: No, sir.

George: Then who is?

Condi: Yes, sir.

George: Yassir?

Condi: No, sir.

George: Look, Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader of China. Get me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone.

Condi: Kofi?

George: No, thanks.

Condi: You want Kofi?

George: No.

Condi: You don't want Kofi.

George: No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk.
And
then get me the U.N.

Condi: Yes, sir.

George: Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N.

Condi: Kofi?

George: Milk! Will you please make the call?

Condi: And call who?

George: Who is the guy at the U.N?

Condi: Hu is the guy in China.

George: Will you stay out of China?!

Condi: Yes, sir.

George: And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the U.N.

Condi: Kofi.

George: All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get on the phone.

Condi picks up the phone. Condi: Rice, here.

George: Rice? Good idea. And a couple of egg rolls, too. Maybe we
should send some to the guy in China. And the Middle East. Can you get Chinese food in the Middle East?

(Bushism of the Day: The president's accidental wit and wisdom.

 Also see Unintentionally Hilarious (Political) Pictures, there are some gems!)